ROBBIE WILLIAMS

“why are they all looking at me?

could they know that I am Ukrainian” I always wonder

as I enter another bar

“could it be so obvious could it could it be so

could it be so obvious that I am Ukrainian”

I take off my jacket (an imported one—German, I believe, but no one wears them here)

I leave on my jeans purchased here this year

I leave on my sweater manufactured in the country of Peru

a sweater—made of fine alpaca wool

it’s of high quality and comfortable but no one wears them here

I leave on my American glasses

what else?

the shoes are somewhat sporty—they were in fashion four years ago

my look is hopeless

or maybe it just seems that way to me?

my mood wavers between fervent patriotism and punching someone in

the face

but that would blow my cover

“only Ukrainians can just punch someone in the face like that”

they suppose and they do have a point there

“only Ukrainians can sing so beautifully”

they suppose and they do have a point there

(“ok, no singing today”—I decide)

“only Ukrainians can undress you with their eyes like that”

they suppose and they’re not mistaken

“only Ukrainians could slaughter so many of us

in such a short period of time”

they suppose and they’re not mistaken

it in such a short period of time only Ukrainians could

I’ve got half an hour

to fulfill my historic mission

what can I accomplish in a half-hour’s time over a pint of beer?

analyze the events of today

just another day for a Ukrainian in Poland

and come to a self-satisfying conclusion:

“they simply like me for who I am”

and I return the favor by buying another beer

and Robbie Williams for the tenth time today tells me what it is he needs

from life:

“I just wanna feel real love” Robbie Williams sings

he and I need the same thing

today I won’t punch anyone in the face—

I take a step towards Ukrainian-Polish reconciliation

and I smile like no one here can

they can clearly see my teeth—a row of healthy white Ukrainian teeth

no one has teeth like that here

 

Translated by Mark Andryczyk