ST. NICK NO. 628 [1]
he gave me the worst seat
that choice third-class lower seat by the wall in the last train car
by the toilet
which at least promised an interesting voyage
“seats are designated by the conductor” and there’s nothing you can do about it
(one cannot choose one’s fatherland, sons do not answer for the sins of their fathers
seats are designated by the conductor—
three entrenched truths everyone here is aware of)
he distributed dirty sheets but did not offer tea or a blanket
who would need a blanket in the third-class car?
it’s generally filled with those who don’t typically require a blanket
or tea for that matter
tea is offered in the second-class car
while coffee—that’s for the bourgeois in first-class
he would close up the bathroom 10 minutes before every
minor station stop
humming “chervona ruta” [2] as he closed it
I could hear this clearly because I was closest to it
he didn’t have a beard although it would have perfectly suited his
faded blue shirt and its
absolutely ambiguous insignia—
hammers weaved together in ecstasy? monkey wrenches?
two hammers in their eternal anticipation of a sickle?
he could be a railway army general
because between khmelnytsky and koziatyn [3] with an authoritative tone
he asked not to wake him
“I’m only human, I’m needin’ some shut eye too,”
said this son of bukovyna
and who would have had the guts to wake him
between khmelnytsky and koziatyn?
he knew he was in control of the situation one hundred percent
he masterfully manipulated the fates of 54 passengers
I determined that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad
if a railway employee became the president of ukraine
at least this would guarantee displacement
from point A to point B
if only for 15 hours to be in power
if only for 15 hours to be the leader of a volatile social group
of salesmen, conventioneers, students
gypsies, hutsuls [4], romanians (which are still referred to as
moldavians in our land for some reason) pregnant girls and perpetually
traveling old ladies
in flowered kerchiefs (where are they constantly traveling to?
who awaits them? who’s needin’ their gifts
from plaid chinese bags?)
he awoke everyone 40 minutes before the city limits
so that 54 representatives of a volatile social group
could hastily tend to their basic bodily needs
before arrival in Kyiv
thus each person was allotted about 40 seconds
he could have donned a hospital attendant’s uniform
and recorded toilet-side the personal time of each passenger
you never know what to expect with Christmas approaching!
he devised a special method to deal with me
“son,” he said in a half-whisper, “son, get up,
St. Nick has already left you gifts under your pillow”
he said ostensibly in jest
never imagining that I’d remember these words
for the rest of my life
Notes
[1] Train No. 628 of the Ukrainian Railways network travels from Chernivtsi, the largest city in southwestern Ukraine’s Bukovyna region, a region that borders Romania and Moldova, to Kyiv.
[2] “Chervona Ruta” (The Red Rue) is an immensely popular Ukrainian song written by Volodymyr Ivasiuk (1949–1979). Ivasiuk hailed from the Bukovyna region.
[3] Khmelnyts′kyi and Koziatyn are Ukrainian cities that are railway stops for several railway lines in Ukraine.
[4] Hutsuls are an ethnographic group of Ukrainian highlanders that inhabit the Carpathian Mountains in Western Ukraine. Hutsuls are known for their elaborate dress, songs, dances, legends, and rituals.
Translated by Mark Andryczyk